L'Orchidophile

Guitar smashers are lower life-forms.

2005-01-18T09:34:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't posted in nearly a month, aside from the vintage draft that I found and clicked into print. So much has been going on. Poisoning, bombing, drowning, swindling, cheapskating on international relief, torture.. All of which are equally worth mention, yet I can't find it in me to be another guy bitching about the same shit that everyone else is bitching about. The same content that will inevitably plague me in repetition throughout the current presidential term and likely my lifetime. I'll kick it off with some foul, uneducated, and passionate English. I swear, the rest of my articles are safe to read to children, but this one happens to be verbal and rant-oriented.

I am severely irritated by musicians that bash their gear. How pretentious is that? Not cool man. Guitars are babies that are to be loved. Drums, eh. To me—More or less unimportant on a spiritual spectrum (compared to guitars). Then again, I'm not a drummer, I might not really understand. Yet still, don't be a prick. Some talented little acoustic dnb playing prodigy is out there with some 100$ tin can set when he could have the glorious set that you just fucked up. and he'll probably give it up because it sounds like a Tyco Playschool Drum-N-Buddy (Made that up. Believable, isn't it.) and he'll think that there's something wrong with the way he's playing—Thus leaving the world short of one more genius' gift.

Also. If you give a shit or not about your guitar because it was made by some limp-dick machine that put no spirit into it—think about the fact that it's made of precious wood that had it's own beauty and character once. Then it unwillingly died for you to smash it, you arrogant bastard. There are a lot of musicians that I respect.. until they smash guitars. Then I just have to say "You know what.. You're a fucking asshole. I'll put your little aural jousts of ego and pseudo-talent into my CD player, but you're an asshole."

Fucking blatant disregard for everything.

Oh, and you little repugnant pieces of slime that destroy acoustic guitars.. There's no hope for you. Anyone who's ever played an acoustic guitar can feel that it loves to be loved. Even the shitty ones. Don't fuck 'em up pal, it breaks my sissy, over-emotionally-objectifying heart. and fuck you assholes who made it a trend to be emotional about everything. You reduced everyone Else's genuine concerns and emotions to mere facets of a fad.

Alright, I'm done. Maybe something worthy of note will come in the following weeks. On a nother note.. My "Inquery into dogmatism and the eternal reward" post has exploded with response. I recommend trying to debunk Mr. MadAnarchist. God knows the rest of them have been fruitfully debunked.

Disaster.. Relief (?)

2004-12-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

The following is a decidedly vintage post that I found as a "draft". Oops.

Circa December, folks.

Ok so, I'm sure my numbers are off, but only inconsequently.Bush donated something like 15 million dollars, and then, only after being scrutinized, added 25 or so to that.. Anyway. Something minescule. Now we're offering 350 Million. Ok, I'll admit, that's better—but I'm still a critic. We spend something like 280mil a day in Iraq killing people (Oops, pardon me, I slipped. I definitely meant "liberating" people), and we barely breech a days worth of killing funds to donate to a place where hell has recently shown it's face on earth? What?

Viva la existance, and chasing ass.

2004-12-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

How preposterous it is to think that we are intelligent. We're only bright enough to question our existance; we don't understand it. We are unable to correctly view ourselves. We are upon the fringe of discovering ourselves via neurosceince—a field that is vastly rendering an accurate view of existance—our existential position within it—and revolutionizing psychology. The fact remains, however, that intelligence isn't to our benefit when it comes to survival. Recognizing through our occipital lobes the objects in our field(s) of vision, and attaching emotion and reaction to these objects with the amygdala and emotional limbic system is to our advantage Etc, etc, etc. I liken the fact that we are without any inherent realistic intelligence to this: If we could will ourselves to orgasm (which, arguably, is physiologically possible].. We wouldn't chase ass. Thus ensuing extinction. Viola. Too much questioning of self, on a macrocosmic level, would only create a bunch of self-important self-fulfilling lazy hairless apes (Wait a second!!). We're not even inherently bright. At best, we form complicated sets of linguistic and metaphoric relationships on a generally communicable level with other humans, but lack the intrinsic ability to question further than the very questions that leave us as blind as we are. I guess the reason I bring this up is because there are so many who hearken abundantly to the ideas of existence, pursuing the facets of existentialism, creating volumes upon volumes of worthless reiteration of the fact that we're silly animals and nothing more. Why do we waste this time? Why not do something progressive about the whole conglomerate of perpetual garbage, pollution, and mindwaste we create in such excess? I just don't see why there isn't movement when movement is so easy.

Andy Goldsworthy fan. I love him.

2004-12-15T20:21:00.000-08:00

Dye-hard Andy Goldsworthy fan right here. I love him. I am thoroughly touched by the scale and architecture of his organic manipulations. He seems to create without inflicting humanity, human confusion, and suffering on nature which I find to be too often the case with "natural art". When I discovered him I nearly exploded with excitement.. When I was a child I was constantly making art from nature—albeit not to the effect or elaboration of Goldsworthy—Though enough to really feel his implications of impermanence, chaos, and order as a vital continuation of a long-lost facet of both my young and current life, and of the natural world in which I am kept so exceedingly amazed.

If you've had not the pleasure of seeing Andy's work, take a look at some of his work online—or check out the new Andy Goldsworthy documentary titled "Rivers and Tides".

Andy Goldsworthy - Smithsonian
Andy Goldsworthy - Center for Global and Environmental Education
Andy Goldsworthy - Sculpture.org.uk
Andy Goldsworthy - Artcyclopedia
Andy Goldsworthy - arthistory.sbc.edu

A mere impermanent visitor in the enduring world of nature.

2004-12-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

In an overwhelming way, today I absorb that we are achieving so little as a race. I suspect that, before long, personal failure to become submerged in stuporous insentience may very well, out of sheer frustration, lead to the shattering of every nerve in my body. In the event that I am waking, I am reciprocally falling; equally endowed with awareness as am infiltrated with the submission to the prospect of ignorance, and cold nihilism. This is nothing new. No great arcana is the reciprocal fashion in which knowledge comes with it's own increasing burden. Intrinsically this has always comprised my drive, self-worth, and semblance of success; in becoming knowledgeable and liberated from naivety. Degrees of lingering human ego cause the depression that is simply proprietary of ridding ones psyche of comfortable ignorance. As come the good days, come the bad - thus installing today as the rather more unpleasant of the two. Of the facets of this month's culmination of stress, I could easily punctuate a few. Recurring, at that - but namely the ego of man. Our sociopathy as a species - our consumptive and rapacious ways.

Nothing, in my opinion, warrants the level of destruction man imposes on the environment, animal life, and even fellow humanity. As every beautiful individual bird, beast, civilization, tree or fern is forced into the void, the eternal hush, the mere memory - I feel as if an irreparable piece of existance was drawn from us all, as it unequivocally was. I feel nearly as bad for those who are unable for one reason or another, to weigh the importance of the impact - that human beings surmount upon the environment, and eventually themselves - than I do those whom it pains.

So we walk erect? So we plause a few remedial existential inqueries, so what? Does this make us so inherently special that we can rightfully disregard the earth, purloining it of everything that it is rightfully deserved? I am redundantly fed "because we can", and "because we are man", or the further, and more disgustingly inexusable, "because god gave it to us".

An inquery into dogmatism and the eternal reward.

2004-12-07T21:37:00.000-08:00

If one lives a kind, compassionate life; Abstaning from causing suffering in any human or animal, even devoting his/her life and resources to alleviating the suffering as much as possible - and God is a truely compassionate god - why would he deny kind and altruistic individuals access to his/her eternal reward, or heaven? Contrarily to Heaven, I assume the concensus is that hell is option number two?

Would a compassionate God really have such a superfluous hangup? Most of the christians I have spoken with assure me that this is God's way.

Faith being the gateway to heaven - not compassion. Does that sound right?

I am very anxious to hear this cleared up, especially from some of you intensely theistic conservative types, as I have always been told that the right to heaven is reserved for those who believe in god by name.

Self-theraputic thoughts.

2004-12-07T17:43:00.000-08:00

I wish to live in a rainforest canopy; integrated into the daily animation of undomesticated primal existance to tend to the affairs of my love for botany and nature. I am excessively attention defecit. My focus, in any given instance, is either that of excessive intensity or of the vastly ineffectual overactive fleeting kind. I am virtually unable to see things with any impartiality to either analytical or global mechanics, though am able to coordinate my dual and contrasting observations to some functional degree. I fluctuate between gregariously well-mannered, and antisocial to the point of self-divorce. I am a fan of minimalism, but also fascinated with overcomplication, and the inherent purpose of the superfluous.

I have absolutely no tolerance for people who can't face the fact that they haven't seen everything there is to see. The self-important make me ever so embittered towards humanity, one-by-one. The postulate; incessantly inflicting their unwarranted precocious ideas onto others give me a run for my own patience. Self-appointed to assess the dispotition of others with such surety - and the willing submission of the counterpart. Nearly driving me to insanity, the droves of dogmatic meat-eaters packing their twelve-guage dysmal arguments and haughty chortles over the silliness of having a little compassion for abused animals. I grow quickly impatient with those who think that "hunting" is still hunting when one party has a gun and a GPS (I'd have less problem with hunting if a man chased down and used his bare hands and teeth to tear a deer to it's death). I hate those who have defined their ideals of beauty from not their own experiences and tastes but what has been projected to them through medias who are merely pushing profit-based agendas. I love how the American way is bigger, and better, yet a woman isn't classy unless she's breakable. I love how everything short of completely neo-con is liberal, how everything short of completely homophobic is gay, and how everything short of dumb, skanky and blonde is being a "dyke". Does logic ensue when a man hates a woman for her own inherent masculinity when his own ideals as a cheauvenist are rooted in masculinity itself?

Make This Retail Holiday Real.

2004-12-06T15:29:00.001-08:00

Any and all gifts from myself to others will be handmade this year, as they frequently tend to be. What really sickens me is that not only do people buy instead of make, [yes, I do understand that some of you are completely devoid of the ability to create, rest aside the capability of conscious thought - and for those of you fitting the former or latter descriptions - you are excused] but the general concensus on something homemade is that it is either makeshift, or non-chelant. In some circles, even having not the recources to go around buying everyone a piece of disposable impermanant pleasure [in a plastic shell that will be inspected and catalogued as an artifact by the next "great" race to inhabit Earth in 26.8 million years] (Which is abundantly my standing case) equates to being pitiful; thusly reducing most inherent value. On an initial basis this sort of terrible material consumerism fails to make a whole lot of sense whereas a larger picture reveals it to be the essence of the hominid.

I am aware that some of you aren't half-bad, but most of you. Aye.
Please excuse the sheer bitterness - speaking for most pessimists, we're bitter because we care.

On another note: I hope that everyone takes full advantage of the coming excuses to share their love for those around them, and whom they care about.

Bush Arrested In Canada For War Crimes.

2004-12-03T10:49:00.000-08:00

"Bush received a bruise on his face during the arrest, which some observers have noted resembles a Canadian maple leaf."

President Bush Arrested In Canada For War Crimes.

[world-cnn.com Fake]

Initially, I didn't believe it because the image looks fabricated. Then, I saw that CNN.com had it published for 4 days, and believed it. Then I found it's initial source, Axis Of Logic , and noticed that Bush's hands were too big for his stature, there are minor contrast issuses in his face (which could be light anomalies, but doubtfully) with the rext of the image, and there is no orange reflection on is chin, as there seemingly would be. Apparently, promptly after the satirical embellishment of the original article, Google News republished the fabrication without any disclaimer (or unknowingly) that it was political satire. Oops. There goes Google's public stock.

I'm still a G-Mail fan. : )

A Dark American Psyche: Nuclear Iconography.

2004-12-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

I find this fascinating. Two artists within the United States could potentially collaborate their artwork to bring about the destruction of entire cities or even the balance in which our government sits in stability (albeit short of optimal) with the rest of the world. One possesses the material, one is a master of delivery.

Our master of delivery:

Gregory Green, a sculptor and well-known artist, comprises the foundation of his work with creations of outright and vividly uncomfortable inquiries into the use of violent and non-violent strategy as means of social and political control. As a contemporary artist, writer, and brilliant modern provocateur, Green poses daunting juxtapositions of public and private information via the use of fully-functional sculptures that he diligently crafts himself. His repertoire includes such anti-authoritarian and wartime weapons as missiles, suitcase bombs, nukes, other various incendiary contrivances, and even LSD. Artwork and information available here.

The man of material:

James L Acord spent a portion of his career devoted to the collection of nuclear material with which he planned to make sculptures. At one point, Acord had acquired the proper permits to legally transport nuclear material over international borders. His artistic endeavors currently rest in suspension due to the impracticality of nuclear art being commercially practicable or unanimously legal.

When such is put to light I again wonder why it is that we are so specifically terrified of seemingly impoverished religious zealots a half of a world away, and why worse hasn't happened thus far?

Government website hilarity.

2004-11-30T13:05:00.000-08:00

One of the most downright hilarious finds I have ever come across on a government website.

Among the five check boxes of "very good", "good", "fair", "poor", and "don't know," provided for responses, thirty-one respondents felt inspired to create an extra checkbox to include such responses as "very poor" (7 responses), "worse than that", "much worse than poor" (2 responses), " worse than poor, downright dishonest and criminal", "terrible" (3 responses), "extremely poor", "pathetic", "catastrophic", "lousy", "rotten", "impeachable", "abysmal failure", "horrendous", "horrible" (2 responses), "worse than horrible", "beyond awful", "worst President in my lifetime", "worst President ever", "war criminal", "liar guilty of treason", and simply, "sucks!"

Only two respondents created an extra checkbox to rate the President "excellent."

Good ol' 76th district.

Can a guy just get some toast?

2004-11-27T14:21:00.000-08:00

Pandemic alert! Exclamation. I have such an affinity for ambiguously named virii. Christ. Bird Flu. Sort of reminds me of the war on terra (Terra, Ironic, yes). As for the premise, in which the bird flu will be transliterated into privatized healthcare, my anticipation is growing wildly out of control. Har.

Who, in a most conservative estimate, warns of a pandemic slated to kill 2-7 million? The WHO does! Sounds like chick revenge. "There is no reason to believe that we are going to be spared." - Klaus Stohr of the WHO Global Influenza Program.

CNN circa January 2019: "Who's the nugget now?". Alright, I'm done.

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft's monopolistic buisiness practices for stimulating the growth of the Seattle suburban sprawl to the point of the creation of endless NUCLEAR FUCKING SUNSETS. Thank you William F. Gates, the photography community loves you.

Unedited, just reduced [air] quality.

On another note. Can a guy just get some medium-golden toast? If I could just get something that wasn't "cancel", "pop-tart", or burnt - I'd be just ecstatic. Come on. I ain't-not hard to please.

This is almost as despicable as the 27 companies that got plugs in the Garfield movie. No, not 27 plugs, 27 companies at roughly 4 plugs a piece. Yeah, that's right - It was so bad, in fact, that I had to grab a pad and paper and play PLUG-HUNT for the length of the movie, or more applicably, "5-day rental commercial".

Happy NoThanksWeTook-ing

2004-11-24T15:59:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. For some fucked up reason or another, dont' ask me why, it's not known as thankstaking; which is inherently more plausable than it's proposterous "giving" counterpart.

I'm going to eat an entire pan/dish/tray of green-bean casserole tomorrow, and wash it's crispy, fatty, fried onion goodness down with as much red wine as I can manage to procure. Yes, it's already the alcoholidays.

Don't get on my back for "Thankstaking". It's really more applicable when weighed in comparison with the reality that it was moreso a NoThanksWeTook-ing than any of the former terms.

On a slightly more serious note, attention should be brought to the danger lurking around this holiday corner. As Indian Creek Nature Center reports, November is the most important month for deer danger alertness. "Almost everyone is aware that deer-car collisions usually peak in November, during the annual mating season, and is more cautious when driving during that time." So when it's time to yank your fat, tired typtophan-laden ass away from NFL re-runs, mind you; there are deer and I out there looking for some ass, so watch it, and slow that 6mpg SUV the fuck down.

My wrap-up thought would concern my inquery as to whether or not caged, diseased, and mistreated birds who stretch their wings for the first time on the way to slaughter constitute "Farming"? Well, that and, I wonder if Iraq will ever form a Thanksgiving of sorts in respects to all the food we're dropping over Fallujah for the droves of children dying of starvation. Har. US out of Iraq NOW.

Vous savez que je suis perdu.

2004-11-22T13:20:00.000-08:00

la notas mentales, arañas mortales
armless arsenal
swarms of manless alarms
streams of lament; seamless martlets
line the inseam of your written reflection

Urban buildering.

2004-11-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I am starting a new blog project consisting of maps, reviews, photographs, and improvised grading of excellent and convenient urban bouldering spots around the Seattle Inner-city. I have seen several superb buildering spots around the 1st and Capitol hills. Coincidentally, banks in the 60's and 70's more often than not implicated rocks in their facade, which make for beautiful urban cragging locales, dare you builder a bank, you silly monkey, you.

From the distance of the winter farmers market, I noticed over a pumpkin cookie, that the SCCC performance hall(?) building, with the exception for a rather tough (v4-v5) underhang problem, would be completely scalable up to the roof.

Today, during an all-day exploration around town for *udu-appropriate vases, I ended up [empty handed] at Value Village on Capitol hill; where in it's basement I found a [shit-you-not] 10 foot cement & rock bouldering wall with a 5-6 inch wide crack! Peeking out from behind some oily oak end table from the early 90's, and a couple of refurbished matresses was a neglected and scornful wall of rock, probably once habitat to some basement hippie artist of the 70's when rock was being exploited in the mainstream. Of course, I didn't have proper shoes with me, but hell, I went ahead and fisted the crack at the top and jammed in a decent toe-heel cam as well as practiced a few good miniature endurance holds. I ended up feeling pretty good about my little find, despite a wicked knuckle cut and a faceful of cobwebs.

Last night, I went to a hockey game. If you've never been to a real hockey game, you couldn't begin to understand how both exciting and eloquant this game can be, contrary to the logical rhyme & reason of the universe. Yes, burly slavic men, nords, canucks, frozen circular chewing-tobacco-sized chunks of old tire, flattened golf clubs, and lots of cheap american yellow beer do indeed make for a rather entertaining time. The beligerantly drunk Irishman behind us with his [granted, beer-IQ] wit endlessly enlightened us all with such phrases as "Nordstroms, 4 - Value Village, 3" or an occasional phonetic mocking of the away team's hometown. Is it "spo-kaaane, or spoo-can?"

*An Udu is an african jug-drum

Attn: World.

2004-11-18T17:15:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to get around to this.
My two cents.

On Nov. 3rd this site didn't have it's own domain, on the 4th it had atleast several hundreds of submissions, today, it's nationally recognized. & What a great site.

SorryEverybody.com

Dictionary.com defunct

2004-11-18T11:19:00.000-08:00

Dear Dictionary.com,
Under the second entry for the definition of "iambic" on your site, a reference and link is provided for the word "lambus". I believe the correct word would be "iambus", as there is no such "lambus" in English or Latin, or is there in pertinance to the subject.

iambic

Thanks, great site, love the etymologies!

-Eric S
[Pending response.]
......................................................................................................

My life's work is half over -I have corrected a Dictionary.
Albeit a petty online typo, I'm goign to trot around on their silly errors, anyway.
: P

Iambus (Not Lambus)
Noun
1. A metrical unit with unstressed-stressed syllables.
Date "iambus" was first used in popular English literature: sometime before 1831. (references)

Etymology: Iambus \I*am"bus\, noun; plural Latin Iambi, English Iambuses. [Latin expression iambus, Greek; probably akin to to throw, assail (the iambus being first used in satiric poetry), and to Latin jacere to throw. Compare to Jet shooting forth.]. (Websters 1913)

Attn: This is how all Americans view the west hemisphere of the globe.

2004-11-17T13:22:00.000-08:00

Attn: This is how all Americans view the west hemisphere of the globe.
Stylistic direction? Expressionism? Impressionism? I think not. This is a veritable wormhole into my American psyche!
(Thanks to my new french insight and expert on American ignorance, which can be found here: link, Just scroll down for the comments.)

I utilized various tools in the creation of this image, however it is mainly Airbrush/Vector/NationalIdentity.

Alllrrriiigghhhttt. Shame on me. I'm taking this too far over one hollow presumption.

Hotmail forced to accomidate messages over 60, [yes, sixty] words in length.

2004-11-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, you heard me. Hotmail forced to accomidate messages over 60, [yes, sixty] words in length.
Presupposedly (of course) due to the people flocking in droves to the quick and revolutionary GMail, Hotmail is pleased to bring to you the NEW FANTAMSOTRONIC EMAILISTIC UPGRADIO of TWOHUNDRED-FIFTYSLAV EXTRASKI MEGABYTESKIES:

Big News: Free Storage increase to 250MB FREE 250MB of storage capacity is coming to your MSN Hotmail e-mail account. We are increasing your online storage to 250MB—that’s over 100 times the storage you have now.

That’s not all we are also increasing your attachment size from 1MB to 10MB! This means that you can send and receive more messages without worrying about available storage space. You’ll be able to see party photos [Oh-no-you-di-int!], hear new songs and watch video clips that your friends e-mail to you.

You may already have your increased storage—look for this upgrade to your account, between now and the end of November.

Termite

2004-11-16T20:49:00.000-08:00

Mindform/tumefacient outreach mid the termitarium
& sullen spark meets kindling-eye

to ashen embedding

Then

riddance had in thaumatrope
vitamin obtruncate; illusory fianchetto feats

become not the reductionist inflourescence
In droves; the driven, I

arrival as viscidium tourist
meristematic-like, back are xxxxxxxxx

Articulate at rest, thereinafter-herein-therefore-whence; discontinued be riddance
(The informal decay of)

The Informal decay of you.

Brilliant and trembling

2004-11-12T16:23:00.000-08:00

Thousands of brilliant and trembling echoes strain to secure the disguised streams of uncertain staircases, meanwhile prolonged illusory whispers of thriven enrichment subdue the behemeth elephant of your chalk lined sleep habits.

Machinating in shapes of trigger-tolerant teeth, the crystallinity of an overdue isotope is resulting in a fragmented lamb due to your ineffectual exertion to systematize that fucking lackadaisical effort you wear on your sleeve like a hunting trophy.

Contrived temperatures gutted my delight, and the onflow of warm metals sought my gentle hands. The sparkling tongues console my detatched dermis with bellowing mercuric tremolos, waiting for my decision to transliterate every breath into a choke of aqueous merriment.

The chalk line goes to he, the cobalt-eyed.

The wings of greenlets flutter into over-animated storms of restless altocumulous. Unashamed downdrafts return myriads of hopefuls to alpha commencement while I helplessly share the sting of their femur's genuflecting at the fulcrum, one at a time, as the tactless migration across throat collapsing desert ends in the subversion of a delicate health.

Politically themed anagrams

2004-11-12T12:38:00.000-08:00

Anagrams I wrote in boredom this morning.

-George Bush, Dick cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, John Ashcroft, Oliver North.
O, Lord. Nuclear convention customers' holy hands offered bigger check. Jihad held zero.

-Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden
"Abandons mandamus", headlines said.

-The patriot act files and Homeland security
and that piously threatens democratic life
-Weapons of mass destruction (I just kept pulling great results out of this one!)
Stems up toward a confession
US stoops. Contained few arms.
Towers of assumptions dance
Assume confident troops saw
War documents fat posession
Nation costs deep sums of war

Does anyone else write anagrams?

Nov.3rd. Where is my day-after pill?

2004-11-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

Well friends, It's november 3rd. The day after the election. Where is my day-after pill? I feel guilty as if I mistakenly had drunken unprotected sex with a nasty chick last night, but alas... The residual distaste that I cannot promptly extinguish from my mouth is that of eight arrested years under an uneducated corporate neo-conservative cock-swinger.

Will republicans open their eyes when the shit hits the fan? The sad thing is, shit did hit the fan. Over and over, at that. As a matter of fact, the shit just kept hitting the fan untill the fan pretty much god-damned broke. The propagandized spoon-fed masses don't want to believe it. Ignorance is winning, but mind you, ignorance is a cognitive win.. We will all see.
The democratic base has been superseded by a riot of dogmatic pseudo-liberals who don't know or care about much more than the joys of shallow partisan gossip, and because MTV and your favorite public personality is dictating that it's the smart choice. On the other side of the saddle, we have us that there the right. The republican base is comprised of stubborn, old-fashioned farmers who fail to recognize the mockery of the American way that is being perpetrated by their republican leader. Drinking their amber waves of grain, and indulging in lies that some monster called a "liberal" is trying to take away his farm, his guns, and his freedom when in all actuality the fight is raging on to protect him from being consumed by the corporate plutocracy that is his faithful republican party.

When is something going to happen? How is it that we are an informed public if votes can be gained by 10 foot pieces of simple three-color graphic design, or slim-fucking-shady? Why isn't this war for president waged predominantly with information of substantial stature?

I can't help but speculate that one of the many defining reasons this neo-con imperialist won, was because this country let itself forget that it is a secular state, and voted for a Christian fundamentalist based on his religious ideals. Maybe we should stop and re-consider why our country is as free and special as it is? One consuming reason would be the separation of church and state. Our forefathers recognized the dangers and abuses associated with a monarchic or theocratic form of government and founded our constitution on secularism.

At least I have unlocked the arcanum that is political success in this country. I'm contemplating taking the liberty of sending this strategic plan to senator Kerry. The plan is as follows: Smirk, smile, smirk, wave. Add 3 parts "Terra, God, WMD, Freedom, God, Terra, Homeland Security, Terra, God, Terra, WMD" for every 1 part broken engrish, and smirk again. Proceed to describe your opposing candidate as "flip flopping, weak, and immoral" while misconstruing every word that comes from his damn liberal mouth. Then create a news syndication to push your biased agenda, force feed your viewers solid lies and arbitrarily based propaganda. Garnish by informing the viewer that you report, and promptly empower them by telling them that they decide. and BAM! Presidentiary!

The only Bush-Cheney ticket that I'd greet with open arms, is a big, fat, unmitigable ticket for being destructive to American dignity, and the safety of the entire world.