Government website hilarity.

One of the most downright hilarious finds I have ever come across on a government website.

Among the five check boxes of "very good", "good", "fair", "poor", and "don't know," provided for responses, thirty-one respondents felt inspired to create an extra checkbox to include such responses as "very poor" (7 responses), "worse than that", "much worse than poor" (2 responses), " worse than poor, downright dishonest and criminal", "terrible" (3 responses), "extremely poor", "pathetic", "catastrophic", "lousy", "rotten", "impeachable", "abysmal failure", "horrendous", "horrible" (2 responses), "worse than horrible", "beyond awful", "worst President in my lifetime", "worst President ever", "war criminal", "liar guilty of treason", and simply, "sucks!"

Only two respondents created an extra checkbox to rate the President "excellent."

Good ol' 76th district.

Can a guy just get some toast?

Pandemic alert! Exclamation. I have such an affinity for ambiguously named virii. Christ. Bird Flu. Sort of reminds me of the war on terra (Terra, Ironic, yes). As for the premise, in which the bird flu will be transliterated into privatized healthcare, my anticipation is growing wildly out of control. Har.

Who, in a most conservative estimate, warns of a pandemic slated to kill 2-7 million? The WHO does! Sounds like chick revenge. "There is no reason to believe that we are going to be spared." - Klaus Stohr of the WHO Global Influenza Program.

CNN circa January 2019: "Who's the nugget now?". Alright, I'm done.

Anyway, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft's monopolistic buisiness practices for stimulating the growth of the Seattle suburban sprawl to the point of the creation of endless NUCLEAR FUCKING SUNSETS. Thank you William F. Gates, the photography community loves you.



Unedited, just reduced [air] quality.

On another note. Can a guy just get some medium-golden toast? If I could just get something that wasn't "cancel", "pop-tart", or burnt - I'd be just ecstatic. Come on. I ain't-not hard to please.



This is almost as despicable as the 27 companies that got plugs in the Garfield movie. No, not 27 plugs, 27 companies at roughly 4 plugs a piece. Yeah, that's right - It was so bad, in fact, that I had to grab a pad and paper and play PLUG-HUNT for the length of the movie, or more applicably, "5-day rental commercial".

Happy NoThanksWeTook-ing

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. For some fucked up reason or another, dont' ask me why, it's not known as thankstaking; which is inherently more plausable than it's proposterous "giving" counterpart.

I'm going to eat an entire pan/dish/tray of green-bean casserole tomorrow, and wash it's crispy, fatty, fried onion goodness down with as much red wine as I can manage to procure. Yes, it's already the alcoholidays.

Don't get on my back for "Thankstaking". It's really more applicable when weighed in comparison with the reality that it was moreso a NoThanksWeTook-ing than any of the former terms.

On a slightly more serious note, attention should be brought to the danger lurking around this holiday corner. As Indian Creek Nature Center reports, November is the most important month for deer danger alertness. "Almost everyone is aware that deer-car collisions usually peak in November, during the annual mating season, and is more cautious when driving during that time." So when it's time to yank your fat, tired typtophan-laden ass away from NFL re-runs, mind you; there are deer and I out there looking for some ass, so watch it, and slow that 6mpg SUV the fuck down.

My wrap-up thought would concern my inquery as to whether or not caged, diseased, and mistreated birds who stretch their wings for the first time on the way to slaughter constitute "Farming"? Well, that and, I wonder if Iraq will ever form a Thanksgiving of sorts in respects to all the food we're dropping over Fallujah for the droves of children dying of starvation. Har. US out of Iraq NOW.

Vous savez que je suis perdu.

la notas mentales, arañas mortales
armless arsenal
swarms of manless alarms
streams of lament; seamless martlets
line the inseam of your written reflection

Urban buildering.

Tomorrow I am starting a new blog project consisting of maps, reviews, photographs, and improvised grading of excellent and convenient urban bouldering spots around the Seattle Inner-city. I have seen several superb buildering spots around the 1st and Capitol hills. Coincidentally, banks in the 60's and 70's more often than not implicated rocks in their facade, which make for beautiful urban cragging locales, dare you builder a bank, you silly monkey, you.

From the distance of the winter farmers market, I noticed over a pumpkin cookie, that the SCCC performance hall(?) building, with the exception for a rather tough (v4-v5) underhang problem, would be completely scalable up to the roof.

Today, during an all-day exploration around town for *udu-appropriate vases, I ended up [empty handed] at Value Village on Capitol hill; where in it's basement I found a [shit-you-not] 10 foot cement & rock bouldering wall with a 5-6 inch wide crack! Peeking out from behind some oily oak end table from the early 90's, and a couple of refurbished matresses was a neglected and scornful wall of rock, probably once habitat to some basement hippie artist of the 70's when rock was being exploited in the mainstream. Of course, I didn't have proper shoes with me, but hell, I went ahead and fisted the crack at the top and jammed in a decent toe-heel cam as well as practiced a few good miniature endurance holds. I ended up feeling pretty good about my little find, despite a wicked knuckle cut and a faceful of cobwebs.

Last night, I went to a hockey game. If you've never been to a real hockey game, you couldn't begin to understand how both exciting and eloquant this game can be, contrary to the logical rhyme & reason of the universe. Yes, burly slavic men, nords, canucks, frozen circular chewing-tobacco-sized chunks of old tire, flattened golf clubs, and lots of cheap american yellow beer do indeed make for a rather entertaining time. The beligerantly drunk Irishman behind us with his [granted, beer-IQ] wit endlessly enlightened us all with such phrases as "Nordstroms, 4 - Value Village, 3" or an occasional phonetic mocking of the away team's hometown. Is it "spo-kaaane, or spoo-can?"


*An Udu is an african jug-drum

Attn: World.

I've been meaning to get around to this.
My two cents.



On Nov. 3rd this site didn't have it's own domain, on the 4th it had atleast several hundreds of submissions, today, it's nationally recognized. & What a great site.

SorryEverybody.com

Dictionary.com defunct

Dear Dictionary.com,
Under the second entry for the definition of "iambic" on your site, a reference and link is provided for the word "lambus". I believe the correct word would be "iambus", as there is no such "lambus" in English or Latin, or is there in pertinance to the subject.

iambic

Thanks, great site, love the etymologies!

-Eric S
[Pending response.]
......................................................................................................

My life's work is half over -I have corrected a Dictionary.
Albeit a petty online typo, I'm goign to trot around on their silly errors, anyway.
: P

Iambus (Not Lambus)
Noun
1. A metrical unit with unstressed-stressed syllables.
Date "iambus" was first used in popular English literature: sometime before 1831. (references)

Etymology: Iambus \I*am"bus\, noun; plural Latin Iambi, English Iambuses. [Latin expression iambus, Greek; probably akin to to throw, assail (the iambus being first used in satiric poetry), and to Latin jacere to throw. Compare to Jet shooting forth.]. (Websters 1913)

Attn: This is how all Americans view the west hemisphere of the globe.

Attn: This is how all Americans view the west hemisphere of the globe.
Stylistic direction? Expressionism? Impressionism? I think not. This is a veritable wormhole into my American psyche!
(Thanks to my new french insight and expert on American ignorance, which can be found here: link, Just scroll down for the comments.)




I utilized various tools in the creation of this image, however it is mainly Airbrush/Vector/NationalIdentity.

Alllrrriiigghhhttt. Shame on me. I'm taking this too far over one hollow presumption.

Hotmail forced to accomidate messages over 60, [yes, sixty] words in length.

Yes, you heard me. Hotmail forced to accomidate messages over 60, [yes, sixty] words in length.
Presupposedly (of course) due to the people flocking in droves to the quick and revolutionary GMail, Hotmail is pleased to bring to you the NEW FANTAMSOTRONIC EMAILISTIC UPGRADIO of TWOHUNDRED-FIFTYSLAV EXTRASKI MEGABYTESKIES:

Big News: Free Storage increase to 250MB FREE 250MB of storage capacity is coming to your MSN Hotmail e-mail account. We are increasing your online storage to 250MB—that’s over 100 times the storage you have now.

That’s not all we are also increasing your attachment size from 1MB to 10MB! This means that you can send and receive more messages without worrying about available storage space. You’ll be able to see party photos [Oh-no-you-di-int!], hear new songs and watch video clips that your friends e-mail to you.

You may already have your increased storage—look for this upgrade to your account, between now and the end of November.

Termite

Mindform/tumefacient outreach mid the termitarium
& sullen spark meets kindling-eye

to ashen embedding

Then

riddance had in thaumatrope
vitamin obtruncate; illusory fianchetto feats

become not the reductionist inflourescence
In droves; the driven, I

arrival as viscidium tourist
meristematic-like, back are xxxxxxxxx

Articulate at rest, thereinafter-herein-therefore-whence; discontinued be riddance
(The informal decay of)

The Informal decay of you.

Brilliant and trembling

Thousands of brilliant and trembling echoes strain to secure the disguised streams of uncertain staircases, meanwhile prolonged illusory whispers of thriven enrichment subdue the behemeth elephant of your chalk lined sleep habits.

Machinating in shapes of trigger-tolerant teeth, the crystallinity of an overdue isotope is resulting in a fragmented lamb due to your ineffectual exertion to systematize that fucking lackadaisical effort you wear on your sleeve like a hunting trophy.

Contrived temperatures gutted my delight, and the onflow of warm metals sought my gentle hands. The sparkling tongues console my detatched dermis with bellowing mercuric tremolos, waiting for my decision to transliterate every breath into a choke of aqueous merriment.

The chalk line goes to he, the cobalt-eyed.

The wings of greenlets flutter into over-animated storms of restless altocumulous. Unashamed downdrafts return myriads of hopefuls to alpha commencement while I helplessly share the sting of their femur's genuflecting at the fulcrum, one at a time, as the tactless migration across throat collapsing desert ends in the subversion of a delicate health.

Politically themed anagrams

Anagrams I wrote in boredom this morning.

-George Bush, Dick cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, John Ashcroft, Oliver North.
O, Lord. Nuclear convention customers' holy hands offered bigger check. Jihad held zero.

-Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden
"Abandons mandamus", headlines said.

-The patriot act files and Homeland security
and that piously threatens democratic life
-Weapons of mass destruction (I just kept pulling great results out of this one!)
Stems up toward a confession
US stoops. Contained few arms.
Towers of assumptions dance
Assume confident troops saw
War documents fat posession
Nation costs deep sums of war

Does anyone else write anagrams?

Nov.3rd. Where is my day-after pill?

Well friends, It's november 3rd. The day after the election. Where is my day-after pill? I feel guilty as if I mistakenly had drunken unprotected sex with a nasty chick last night, but alas... The residual distaste that I cannot promptly extinguish from my mouth is that of eight arrested years under an uneducated corporate neo-conservative cock-swinger.

Will republicans open their eyes when the shit hits the fan? The sad thing is, shit did hit the fan. Over and over, at that. As a matter of fact, the shit just kept hitting the fan untill the fan pretty much god-damned broke. The propagandized spoon-fed masses don't want to believe it. Ignorance is winning, but mind you, ignorance is a cognitive win.. We will all see.
The democratic base has been superseded by a riot of dogmatic pseudo-liberals who don't know or care about much more than the joys of shallow partisan gossip, and because MTV and your favorite public personality is dictating that it's the smart choice. On the other side of the saddle, we have us that there the right. The republican base is comprised of stubborn, old-fashioned farmers who fail to recognize the mockery of the American way that is being perpetrated by their republican leader. Drinking their amber waves of grain, and indulging in lies that some monster called a "liberal" is trying to take away his farm, his guns, and his freedom when in all actuality the fight is raging on to protect him from being consumed by the corporate plutocracy that is his faithful republican party.

When is something going to happen? How is it that we are an informed public if votes can be gained by 10 foot pieces of simple three-color graphic design, or slim-fucking-shady? Why isn't this war for president waged predominantly with information of substantial stature?

I can't help but speculate that one of the many defining reasons this neo-con imperialist won, was because this country let itself forget that it is a secular state, and voted for a Christian fundamentalist based on his religious ideals. Maybe we should stop and re-consider why our country is as free and special as it is? One consuming reason would be the separation of church and state. Our forefathers recognized the dangers and abuses associated with a monarchic or theocratic form of government and founded our constitution on secularism.

At least I have unlocked the arcanum that is political success in this country. I'm contemplating taking the liberty of sending this strategic plan to senator Kerry. The plan is as follows: Smirk, smile, smirk, wave. Add 3 parts "Terra, God, WMD, Freedom, God, Terra, Homeland Security, Terra, God, Terra, WMD" for every 1 part broken engrish, and smirk again. Proceed to describe your opposing candidate as "flip flopping, weak, and immoral" while misconstruing every word that comes from his damn liberal mouth. Then create a news syndication to push your biased agenda, force feed your viewers solid lies and arbitrarily based propaganda. Garnish by informing the viewer that you report, and promptly empower them by telling them that they decide. and BAM! Presidentiary!

The only Bush-Cheney ticket that I'd greet with open arms, is a big, fat, unmitigable ticket for being destructive to American dignity, and the safety of the entire world.